I know from my experience of my family that they were more worried than I was. So this post is for them, for those family members worrying and stressing about what’s to come. Here’s a post from Martin, he sent it to me yesterday, it’s heartfelt, honest, and typically lovely. Enjoy ❤️❤️
The Boyfriends Perspective.
CS Lewis said that “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny” a pretty apt quote for past and coming few weeks. I’m the ‘Martin’ you’ve seen mentioned in the previous blog posts. Shauna’s boyfriend of years…… yes I know I’m keeping her waiting for the big day! For me the purpose of my input is not to look for credit or thanks its simply to give those out there the perspective of someone who has been beside someone who has gone through open heart surgery #PAPVC.
Shauna seemed to take this all in her stride to be honest much better than I had been, I’d had many times in the lead up to the operation worrying more so of the aftermath, the recovery, the risks how would Shauna deal with it all, that’s where I could step in support, help, comfort and reassure all would be just okay. I met Shauna’s consultant for the first time the night before her operation, I was nervous of course as anyone would be (not meeting him just about the next day!). Immediately I was filled with confidence he was the kind of fella that we all know of one in school, he played football he could have been a premiership footballer, he would achieve top grades without breaking a sweat, just good at whatever he turned his hand to. He spoke of the operation to both me and Shauna and from that moment I had no doubt she would be fine. He was the kind of guy that you would trust to do anything for you and know 110% it would be done exactly as it should be. I’m sure we’ve all read about consultants and the heavy fees they can charge but this guy works seriously hard, each day his hands are literally working on a life. I believe he got there not through talent but a huge amount of hard work another quote springs to mind on this from a double UFC champion and I think Shauna in a way has adapted to in her way of thinking in approaching her surgery.
Conor McGregor: “There’s no talent here, this is hard work. This is an obsession. Talent does not exist, we are all equals as human beings. You could be anyone if you put in the time. You will reach the top, and that’s that. I am not talented. I am obsessed.”
Read into this a little it’s not just about fighting it’s about life how we approach things face obstacles, challenges, a positive mind set is the greatest asset anyone can have and I don’t mean thinking everything is perfect all the time but believing YOU CAN DO THIS no matter what. Shauna was focused on getting this #PAPVC fixed and stopped at no barrier, she kept on moving forward.
May 23rd, Operation Day, I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep that previous night, in fact to be honest none, I was up at 4:50am and on the road to the hospital to see her prior to surgery my stomach was sick, but I knew I must be strong for her as I didn’t want to upset her. So I arrived in parked up composed myself and went into the ward, there she was as always, big smile, wide awake, calm and collected. We chatted about bits and pieces, the night before there was the terrible Manchester attacks during a concert so it made a good bit of the conversation. Shauna was great I asked her how she was she gave me her usual reply “Murt I’m alight”. Her surgery was due for 8am but I had a feeling it would be later than this. It was time to leave now and this was the hardest thing I knew deep down that all would be fine but when someone that means the world to you is having a major operation you cannot help but worry. (Yes there were some tears but I knew I would see her later that day operation complete!)
I decided that day I would try stay as busy as possible otherwise I was liable to wear a track around the waiting room pacing up and down. I left for work and honestly I cannot remember a single thing from that drive which was just under 60 minutes which looking back was a bit of a worry!
May 23rd will go down in my 26 years of life so far as the longest day ever. Shauna’s mam was the main point go contact for the day and she even had two phones on the go in case one decided not to work. Minutes seemed like hours and hours days. I had in my head that she would have gone in for the operation at 9 and four hours was 1pm so it would all be done I didn’t bargain for was that the operation didn’t begin until 10:30/11 so it would be nearly 4pm by the time she would be finished. I struggled through the day (as I said I’m not looking for sympathy or aww’s I just wanted to give an honest view of a loved one waiting) But finally 4pm came ‘Netty’ calling my heart skipped about 800 beats “she’s okay its all done but not in ICU yet, the operation went as planned” THANK GOD for that! I finished up what was doing and straight into the car and into the hospital. A journey of just over 60km took me 28 minutes….. I’ll be put off the road after this post…….
When I got there I met Shauna’s mam in the hospital reception relief all round. We made our way upto the nurses station and were brought across into the ICU unit. Now this is something I had read plenty up on what to expect, machines and all that. The nurse assured us all the machines, wires and pipes are there to do a job. We went in and I don’t really know how to put into words my feelings at that moment, part of me was crushed seeing her like that, another just completely relieved she had come through the surgery pretty good. One thing I’ll always remember is Shauna’s strength, the nurse said Martin and Mam are here and we got a nod of the head! I must warn you all the machines are very daunting if even scary. We left after a couple of minutes but with a feeling of relief and comfort she was okay. Now onto my next set of worries, when will she be home, did the operation work, how will I stop her doing too much.
I’ve surprised myself a bit really I originally said to Shauna aw yeah a blog would be a great idea and I’ll help, I’ll even write a few pieces. To wrap this one up simply, be positive, focus and getting better and this will instil the belief and confidence in those around (i.e. ME!) that you can get through a major operation like this of course with the support of others!
PS I had to include this she’ll kill me for it but this is less than 18 hours after surgery sipping on some juice!