On going in to see my doctor the for the last time my head was buzzing with questions, and for some reason there was a niggle in my head saying, ‘he’s not going to do the surgery’. We walked in and chatted for a while until I had word vomit and blurted all my questions at him!! As usual he wasn’t fazed. He laid out the risks about my surgery, obviously death was a factor but thankfully, due to my age and health this was minimal. From all the tests and other avenues that were explored I wanted to be sure that this surgery was absolutely necessary. I spoke with the doctor and he explained that although my condition is very rare and doesn’t pose immediate danger it could in the future. As it was my heart was pumping at a ratio of 2.4:1, a normal heart beats at 1.2:1 or thereabouts!! Like I said I’m no doctor but I knew this wasn’t a good thing. It was also explained that because of this, my heart was compromised to becoming stretched into my 40’s, and eventually I would go into early heart failure. My next question was about having children…… down the line………wayyyy down the line, I love my nieces and nephews but I love sending them home too!!! My doctor told me that yes, I could get pregnant but the risks of my heart being compromised during pregnancy was far too high. It was decided, I had no choice and this was happening.
From that day on I knew things would change. During that consultation with my consultant we decided on the date for surgery, May 23rd. The date was my choice and my first thought was to have it done as soon as I could. College finished on the 24th of May so, I decided to miss the last day to prioritize my surgery. Keep in mind I am lucky enough to have private health insurance which meant my wait was minimal compared to a public waiting list. The date hung over all our heads and the countdown was on. Like the countdown for New Year’s Eve we started at 10 until we got down to the last week. Like I said in my first post, nerves or worry never entered my head, probably because the choice was taken out of my hands, and my consultant was amazing! To everyone else this seemed strange, how could I not be worried or scared, but like I said, there’s nothing I can do about it, and there’s nothing positive that will come from worrying.
Because I am taking my H-Dip in counselling and psychotherapy it is mandatory that we go to our own personal therapy during the course. This for me was where I got rid of my ranting about everything, but never the surgery, yes, I spoke about it and yes, I had jitters but it was never a big burden, but it was a great release from any other stressors that were happening. Life ticked away and in the last 5 weeks my own health became important. Once I started to say, ‘this day next month’ I became aware that I needed to keep myself healthy. I was still going to the gym, and even took up a boxing class which I enjoyed but I barely made it through each class without getting some severity of my symptoms. I started taking Vitamin C with rose hip. I had gotten bloods done and found out my ferritin levels were low so I was also on galfer tablets to help my iron stores. I have always been conscious of my diet and so I increased my fruit and veg as much as I could.
For the last three weeks work was busy and so was college so my mind was occupied. One session with my therapist ended with her telling me it would be good for me to ‘punctuate’ my weekends!! Well if my professional therapist is telling me I must do something every weekend then that’s what I shall do!! Out to the car I went and rang my boyfriend Martin. “My therapist said you have to take me away every weekend” …… (OK fine that’s not exactly what she said but it sounded good to me!!!!) I don’t think he bought it but we had lovely weekends before my surgery none the less. We had a lovely Sunday in my favourite hotel Brooklodge, we spent a voucher we got in Powerscourt and we enjoyed every free minute we had up until the date. The last week before surgery was my busiest yet, I had extra days at work and assignments for college. My friends threw me a surprise tea party which was the cutest thing ever…… a party full of tea and cake, they know me so well (and the wine went down a treat as always!). Family and friends came over to wish me well armed with cards and flowers. Myself and my mam had long talks about my recovery and what I could do to keep myself occupied, 6/8 weeks of doing nothing to me is torture. It had to happen but I think everyone was prepared for me to like an antichrist…. At least they were prepared I suppose!!! Sunday night I packed my bag, next stop was the hospital.
#heartsurgery #blog #newbie #PAPVC